Mark Marshall

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Am I Friend Enough 2…

I have contemplated and mulled over this thought for a couple of years. This idea of becoming and being a friend is pretty special these days in the world we live in today. The definition according to the online free dictionary is:
FRIEND

1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement:
I guess I’m older now and really assessing the value of true friendships. I remember hearing a message by my pastor some 30 years ago, still ringing in my spirit; “You can’t love someone fully and truthfully unless you love what they love!” What a statement, and in the same breath he said, “You can’t save someone at a distance, you must get close.”
And when you think about it our great friendships have been stained with religious ideologies, that don’t really serve anyone. People are more interested in ‘their thing, their faith, their stuff, etc.’ I fear our friendships have been distorted because there are some if not most that actually think ‘Principles are more important than people’. I do not or ever will but into the idea that your belief and doctrine is more important than people, I am pretty confident in saying that Jesus lived that model over and over.
What Jesus really did in His short time was to show people how important they are to the Kingdom. NOT STUFF. One of the last great revelations He spoke to His tribe was the fact that He saw them as friends. If we would learn to truly love and quit projecting a great something beyond the next hill, we probably would find the garden that we are all looking for.  Beloved there is no higher form of connected Kingdom life outside of friendship. It is truly your gift to humanity. Jesus was actually friend of sinners. He was able to live out the ‘Love the sinner / hate the sin’ because He was a friend first.
Word History: The relationship between Latin amīcus, “friend,” and amō, “I love,” is clear, as is the relationshipbetween Greek philos, “friend,” and phileō, “I love.” In English, though, we have to go back a millennium before we see the verb that we can easily connect to friend. Frēond, the Old English source of Modern English friend, is related to the Old English verb frēon, “to love, like, honor, set free (from slavery or confinement).” Specifically, frēond comes from the present participle of the Germanic ancestor of Old English frēon and thus originally meant “one who loves.” 
American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fifth Edition. Copyright © 2011 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.
I love here how the term friend and love are so closely related. I fear that in our culture today that has been tainted and lost in translation. I mean with social media we have now learned how to be a friend without the commitment and love that is necessary to be said friend. I have like 1000 facebook friends, I follow most of the people and interact as much as I can, but I have few friends in the real world that I can bend their ear, share my stuff, or even get a cup of coffee!
With that being said I can’t tell you how many ‘friends’ I have that know nothing about my heart and direction. These are acquaintances I have come to find out. Over the years people have loved my ‘gift’ but not necessarily me. I am sure many people feel the same way. I have learned in my short career that I would never surrender my ‘gift’ to any one or group that didn’t want a relationship to me and my family as a person. At one time in my life there were seven pastors and leaders from five different states that were wanting me and my family to move and be a part of their work. I was so confused, but very excited. You know for once you think your hard work and life’s achievements are paying off. Only to realize these people were more interested in building their own thing. Not one of them actually wanted to know what made me tick, or motivate me. My greatest test and struggles have been the result of pursuing these relationships, only to be stripped and left for dead.
Today I have the most amazing Bishop to my soul. He and his team have loved the ‘hell out of me’. I am learning how to be loved for who I am and not what I can do for a group. Believe me it’s foreign to me so please be patient, I’m facing the light and running towards love. My Bishop is the truest friend I think I have ever known, I aspire to be like him when I grow up! I have known him twenty plus years, and he is so purposeful, and kind. He is one of the few that sat down with me and listen to my story with a heart of pure love, no judgement, but rather compassion and love. No matter where I am in my walk, or where he is in the world; time and time he has texted me to check on me or answer….
I strive to be like him, I haven’t arrived by no means. But I am aware that I have short comings, please remember me in your prayers. Honestly I believe this kind of love is what the Kingdom is all about. I was talking to a friend of mine Sunday, and I said, I hate it that most people run around looking for a miracle or revival, when the real miracle is sitting right in front of YOU! I told him that I was so ready for people to re calibrate their directives. I said, ‘So many people are wanting to be healing etc, yet all I can do really is love; it’s up to God alone to heal’.
I am purposing to become a better friend by becoming easier to love. I am using my ‘Lent’ season to commit to those who call me friend. I mean at the end of the day, isn’t that what everyone wants? To those I have let down, misguided, and left hanging; I do love you very much, but I have a lot of untangling to do. I will fulfill my obligation to be a friend to those who call me that!
MM+
When You Love Someone
when you love someone – you’ll do anything
you’ll do all the crazy things that you can’t explain
you’ll shoot the moon – put out the sun
when you love someone
you’ll deny the truth – believe a lie
there’ll be times that you’ll believe you can really fly
but you’re lonely nights – have just begun
when you love someone
when you love someone – you’ll feel it deep inside
and nothin else can ever change your mind
when you want someone – when you need someone
when you love someone…
when you love someone – you’ll sacrifice
you’d give it everything you got and you won’t think twice
you’d risk it all – no matter what may come
when you love someone
you’ll shoot the moon – put out the sun
when you love someone

Faith to be Made Whole 1

I know it has been a challenging week for everyone on our side of the pond. But some great wonderful things and meetings transpired for me. I have had some incredible insights to the revelation this week, and as equally saddened by all of the up-evil in our world. I shared this quote before but it is resonating in me today.

“The Naked Now”, by Fr Richard Rohr,  ‘Humans tend to think because they agree or disagree with the idea of a thing, they have realistically encountered the thing itself.’

I totally agree with this statement. Believing and encountering are not always one in the same. We may ‘believe’ in things, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we have already experienced it in fullness. It should be a natural progression, but I have found it to usually be the former than the latter.

I had the privilege of meeting with a dear pastor friend of mine yesterday. We got to talking about our world, and what God might be doing next in it. The subject came up about the Oklahoma Supreme Court decision to remove the Ten Commandments monument from the Capital grounds. This has caused quite an uproar to say the least. My friend was telling me about all the Facebook comments from people she knows about the ruling. And she said something that stuck in my mind. She said, ‘The sad thing about the people complaining about the court’s decision, is that probably 95% do not know what the Commandments even are! Much less live by them’!

My thoughts today are that our beliefs have become a religious artifact. An replica of days gone by. Something that now belongs in a museum. I don’t think people have affection for the words that are written on that monument, and most probably don’t know the spiritual significance. I liken it to a friend of mine that always had a bible in the car everywhere he went. I asked him why he had a bible everywhere, I mean it never left the car, it wasn’t like he was reading or anything! He told me it was for protection; both spiritual and physical. That sounds like the 80’s sayings in the churches, that said if you go over 55 mph in your car, then the angels would fly off. I know it sounds ridiculous, but in those days it was a little bit more than a joke. Kind of went along the lines of ‘parking angels’.

To piggy back upon Fr. Rohr’s comment I was meditating on this thought. My ‘believing’ in a thing, does not change the thing. I know it seems odd but the reality is; if you believe in a thing or idea it will ‘CHANGE YOU’. It is downloaded in our Spiritual DNA. I call it Divine Nature Attributes. Every cell of our body carries the genetic code of ‘our life’ in the physical realm. This code has been passed down through our ancestors.

The exact same is true for our spiritual sDNA. This code through revelation is passed down through spiritual time as well. The natural DNA in our bodies uses RNA to link to creating our human attributes according to the manufacturers specs. This RNA is referenced as the messenger gene. Carries the keys to infusing and creating genetic material. In the spiritual sDNA process we have sRNA which is the God breathed ‘message’. So in truth what we believe does change us. It has the power to shape our realities, and even manifest in our physical realm. We have the divine spark, spirit, and or seed of God within us. This sDNA is spiritual material or matter to create our spiritual lives. Our spiritual lives is designed to overtake our physical and mental limitations. The key is the sRNA; the ‘MESSAGES’ you believe and receive.

This sDNA process is foolproof. Eventually your life will reflect what you believe (be lived by). So it isn’t merely the confession that changes you it ultimately is your belief. You will not only reflect what you believe, but also mirror and manifest that belief. It is this kind of faith that grants us the power to be made whole. When you realize that you are downloaded and pre-ordained for overcoming.

Faith to be made whole happens when my belief lines up with the messenger code! When the revelation of the message is revealed it is un-packaged and applied to my inward life. Ultimately it will manifest in my walk and daily life. So this is why many confess or say what they believe, yet their manifest lives reveal the contrary. You can’t help but be made whole when you are in alignment with the internal. I want my faith and belief to be actively serving its purpose, not in a museum to preserve yesterdays victories. There is plenty of time for that after I am gone. Right now I want my faith to reflect the revelation of the Christ.

The Book of ‘U’

I remember in some of our leadership training sessions in the past I would sometimes ask the question, “If your friends or family were to write a biography of your life story, what would the title be?”

Don’t get me wrong here, what others’ think about you is important in a lot of ways, but totally unnecessary for you to discover the real U.

It is an eye-opening experience. Think about what you would write as the title, compared to others would put as the title. There are several books I suppose we could write about our lives. The secret things book. You know the one that reveals how you REALLY feel about people and situations. There is also what I call the book of dreams.

Would your life story be horror story, love story, drama, comedy, or God forbid a fiction? I am pretty sure I can say with confidence that your story probably didn’t turn out the way you planned it. But the reality for us is that it (is).

A great exercise I learned from Crystal Andrus was, Your Five Words. I visit this training over and over like on a monthly basis. The exercise is simply find the five words that describe you. What are the five words that reveal what you are all about. Five words that reveal your intent and desire to be in life. I searched out these words in my own life. I found it difficult to own them. I was having conflict in my mind over it for about a month.

Were these five words supposed to be the things I desired to be? Were these words what I perceived what others saw in me? Were the words to be a definition of how I think I am now?  This is how I interpreted the training session; my five words were at the core of who I really am. When you strip your life down to the bare bones material.  Like discovering the core of your purpose and intent at a cellular level.  Take away all of the labels of thought, definition, and opinion of others. In other words, who are you really without any form of external accomplishment, or possession.

I believe this is a wonderful exercise. I have had many of my friends try to come up with their five words. You see these five words is the bedrock of identity. Since I believe life is really a stage to discover the RealU, then it’s imperative that we find these words. When you find these core nuggets, then you can begin to live an authentic life.

Meaning you become aware of alignment to these core values and context. Everything else that does not line up with your core words, is merely a shadow of the RealU!

So what are your words? What is the Title of the Real Book of You?

Shame: The Swamp Land of the Soul

Today I was reading and came across this idea of shame being like a swamp. I have been contemplating the whole Adam and Eve story for years, and very intensely the last year or so. I can not seem to shake the idea that we are still dealing with the effects of that fatal day. Misty Edwards is an amazing prophetic psalmist. In one of her songs the line is, “If Grace is an ocean then we’re all drowning.” I truly believe this statement, I also recall Stevie Nicks had a line in a song that said, “Drowning in the sea of love, where everyone would love to drown.”

Well if grace is like the ocean, and love like a sea; then shame has to be like a swamp of the soul!  Lets take a look at the swampland first shall we.

A swamp is a wetland with some flooding of large areas of land by shallow bodies of water. A swamp generally has a large number of hammocks, or dry-land protrusions, covered by aquatic vegetation, or vegetation that tolerates periodical inundation.  A common feature of swamps is water stagnation.

Swamps are characterized by very slow-moving waters. They are usually associated with adjacent rivers or lakes. In some cases, rivers become swamps for a distance. Swamps are features of areas with very low topographic relief.

Swamps were historically often drained to provide additional land for agriculture, and to reduce the threat of diseases borne by swamp insects and similar animals. Swamps were generally seen as useless and even dangerous. This practice of swamp draining is nowadays seen as a destruction of a very valuable ecological habitat type of which large tracts have already disappeared in many countries. However, the generally messy nature of swamps, with their diffuse boundaries and lack of enclosure, prevents humans from being able to collect and capitalize on their precious natural resources. Generally swamps are assessed as having low land value even while they are being protected from damage. [Wikipedia]

Shame is definitely like a stagnation to our souls, the life and flow of it. It is also uninhabitable for the most part by humans. So it’s definitely not a good place to live! We know there are many insects, and predators that lark in the hidden terrain. Most of I see metamorphically speaking, a very low-lying place. To our souls with shame is exactly all of these things. It is a terrible and dangerous environment for the soul.

Dr. Rene Brown says in her book, “The Gifts of Imperfections: Let go of who you thing you’re supposed to be and embrace who are”, That Shame is the ‘fear of disconnection and belonging due to my own feeling of unworthiness.’ In other words we are all hard-wired for connection and belonging, but somehow we get to a place to where our own feelings of unworthiness for whatever reason creates a disconnected mindset. We somehow feel that if you knew the internal struggles I have with in me, and my own knowledge of unworthiness you would reject me. This creates the shame.

She also rights in her book about Shame.

1. We all have it…..
2. We are all afraid to talk about it…..
3. The less we talk about it, the more power it has over our lives…..

Dr. Brown is a researcher / storyteller by profession. Over 10 years of shame, vulnerability, and fear research was done by her. I find the information very insightful into the human soul and mindset. I can easily see how this is such a huge issue in all of our lives. I believe with all of my heart that the Facebook and MySpace phenomenon is marker for what is going on in people’s lives and minds. Aside from the obvious narcissistic  tendencies, and the  voyeuristic curiosity of us all; The message that I hear from Facebook over all to me is the basic needs of humans at its finest.

1. The need to be Fully Loved
2. The need to be Fully Known (heard, seen, perceived)
3. The need to Belong

Of course Facebook has become a wonderful in communicating, promoting, and even was paramount in the Egyptian Revolution! This tool can also be a very dangerous tool in the hands of those that carry shame in the dark crevasses of their being. I poke fun sometimes when I say, Facebook can be a tool for creeping, snooping, and stalking. As a matter of fact the California legal community has said through its findings that 1 in every 5 divorces are because of Facebook’s ability to communicate. Facebook has become a very great tool for lawyers.

http://blogs.findlaw.com/law_and_life/2011/03/facebook-to-blame-for-1-in-5-divorces-lawyers-say.html

To navigate these swampy areas in our minds and souls, we are going to have to build deep trusting relationships with others who can listen without a judgmental spirit. If we can find these people the grip of shame will begin to erode and dry up as it were. And much like farmers we can drain the swampy waters of shame and despair, and once again plant productive fields of love and acceptance.

My Good friend Toby once told me the difference between shame and guilt.

Guilt: I DID something bad
Shame: I AM something bad

I will never forget this as long as I live. I realize guilt is a blessing from God to help nudge you to reconcile the offenses you may have occurred along the path of life so that you can live free and with an open heart. If we ignore the nudging then the inevitable consequence is shame. You will begin to identify a part of you AS the bad thing, instead of a slip up, it becomes your identity.

God help us to identify with the greatness within each and every one of us! As I watch the Earthquake and Tsunami in Japan unfold, I am so amazed at the spirit of the people. There hasn’t been one single report of looting and violence, and they wait for over 3 hours to get water and some don’t even get it. Let us not even discuss what would happen in America if anything remotely like that happened? Just think New Orleans, and Katrina, or the fires in the riot in Downtown L.A.

Consider and pray about finding a trusted friend that sticks closer than and brother to navigate and dry up your Swampland of the Soul. This is your year to get it done! One thing I am 100% sure of…..

It will NEVER get fixed by ignoring it!  That is what your carnal mind is trying to convince you of!

Paradoxical Ascent 2

The paradoxical ascent to God is not easily explained to the logical mind.  In simple terms the early Fathers of the faith would use these terms to describe the spiritual ‘feeling’. The Paradox here is the reality of what’s really going on in the hearts and minds of God’s people at certain times in their lives.

‘The more I know about God, it seems the less I really know’, and ‘The closer I get to Him and His Essence, the further away He seems.’ This could be some really great knowledge to know in some of our uncertain times. To actually learn by faith and through experience that in those times where I think God is a million miles away He might actually be the closest. I have found that Knowing God is more fitted to my experience than just my learning ability. St Symeon said that, ‘God can only be known by experiencing Him.’  My finite mind can not contain or formulate the nature and Person of the Godhead, but I truly enjoy learning and trying. But it seems like every time I go back to certain scriptures that I thought I knew one way, have now changed or added, in the meaning.  What I know have learned over the years is that He hasn’t changed but I have been moving ‘IN HIM’, and now I have a different perspective on the same scriptures I thought I knew by heart a few years back.

The Paradoxical Ascent can be described in this way. We are from Oklahoma originally, and every year we would take a trip to Colorado to the mountains. It’s a drive that for most part is very flat and boring. But there is a point that you get in New Mexico, I’m not sure where exactly, but you can see the whole Rocky Mountain range. And when you get to that point in the trip it changes to excitement because you can see everything.  The closer you get into Colorado and actually beginning to go through the mountains, there is a series of descending and ascending. The thing you will notice is you no longer see the whole range just a few mountains. But the closer you get to your destination, for us it was always Mount Crested Butte, you can’t see anything but what’s in front of you. So it is much like the Paradoxical Ascent, the closer I get the further away I seem, and the more I know, the less I know.

When we first started out in our journey to God there is a point that you think or perceive to see the whole picture. But as you journey on further the closer you get and the less you think you know! Enjoy the journey friends His ways are past finding out, but its fun trying to learn everything we can!

Paradoxical Ascent 1

When you think about the thought of ambiguity, it brings to mind an ancient thought of the ‘Paradoxical Ascent’.  The very term seems to be inline with ambiguity and in many ways it is, but in a much deeper mystery. The usage of the word paradox in our society is the polar opposite, it actually means disambiguation.

A paradox is a true statement or group of statements that leads to a contradiction or a situation which defies intuition. The term is also used for an apparent contradiction that actually expresses a non-dual truth (cf. kōan, Catuskoti). Typically, the statements in question do not really imply the contradiction, the puzzling result is not really a contradiction, or the premises themselves are not all really true or cannot all be true together. The word paradox is often used interchangeably with contradiction. It is also used to describe situations that are ironic.

Paradoxical Ascent is an early fathers term from their mystical perspective. In the early 1700’s some early fathers of the Jewish mystical faith called it coincidentia oppositorum. Every actual thing involves a coexistence of opposed elements.  Consequently to know, or, in other words, to comprehend an object is equivalent to being conscious of it as a concrete unity of opposed determinations. The coincidence of opposites that characterizes God, humanity and the world can be approximately understood by the simultaneous adoption of two points of view.

While this may seem like a contradiction of polar opposites, it is really that the opposites are all in HIM and complement each other. One makes the other what it is! In more simpler terms we can look at the Kingdom of God as inverted. I say inverted because it seems to be the opposite of what we think and the way we view life. In the Kingdom up is down meaning if you want to ascend you must first descend. If you want to receive you must first give. If you want and desire love you must first love. From our finite perspective it is hard to contain and satisfy a definition of our infinite God and His essence.

For example we say the sun rises in the east every morning and sets in the west every evening. And that is what is so difficult for us because it really does seem that way, our eyes actually see, and we perceive it to be so. But until you are enlightened with other truths on a bigger scale you would never know the truth. The reality being; the sun never MOVES, but rather the earth is turning and rotating around the sun!

This is the beauty of the mystery of the paradoxical ascent to God, that quite possibly what we see and are experiencing is the polar opposite of the truth?

3 Friends We All Need

I have been contemplating Kingdom relationship principles and came across the thought, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like unto a net.”

I discovered that there where three kind of friends and relationships we all need to be successful in life. It made me think of the other three friend groups we all are familiar with. I remember the 3 Stooges; Moe, Larry, and Curly. The 3 Musketeers; all for one and one for all. The 3 Amigos, hopefully no one is in the 3 Blind mice club! There is a verse that talks about a three-fold chord not easily being broken.

I think about all of my friendships I’ve made all over country. Many of these offer so many gifts to me. But I would say if you had these three friends, then I am convinced it would be hard for you to fail at most anything. I’m talking about those friends that literally can be a source of sharpening, and another that brings clarity and the breath of life in hard times. I remember the teaching we used to get from our leadership courses; Your 5 closest friends right now will influence and determine your future. In other words the principle is you attract what you project.

My philosophy is always been we need mentoring people in our lives. We need those Over us, or ahead. We need those who walk Beside us our partners. We all need to be giving back that which was given to us in this light; we all need those we feed and help.

I believe your friends not only are a life source, but they are your friends for a reason. Many of them are ‘mirrors’ in to who you really are. Sometimes they expose you to parts of you that you weren’t even familiar with about you. I pondered to the greatest leader of all and those ‘friends’ He hung out and worked with.  I mean imagine if all of your work friends are your every day friends; that could be heaven or hell LOL. Jesus prayed all night before ‘picking’ his mini tribe of friends. I believe all 12 of them were necessary to fulfill His mission on earth. They were called and in the end He called them friends.

The 3 kind of friends we all need, whether we think so or not. The Kingdom is like a Net; so therefore the Kingdom is about relationships and connectedness  for a higher purpose.

1. Casters – Relationships that Motivate me.

Motivate – prompt, strive, stimulate, activate (provide a motive for doing something) inspire, encourage; ‘Fire with Enthusiasm’

These are the friends and people in our lives that inspire us. Not only to infuse with energy for goals, but more importantly the inspiration to be the ‘authentic me’. Discovery of our Divine nature and our RealU context takes courage. I can’t think of anything more important as to be on the search for our authentic self. Many of us have accountability partners for eating right, working out, achieve personal goals and the such. These are all great, but we need those who inspire us to shed fear and shame, and walk in our true authentic self.

You remember that Snickers commercial, where one of the people on the team, or worker is acting Not like themselves? And the just of it is, their friends will say Bob, eat a snickers man you are NOT BEING YOURSELF!  So we have snickers bars at work, and when people are being grumpy or complaining, we go had them and Snickers and say _________ you are not acting like your real self, eat this please!  It is important that we have authentic grounded friends. Those who can walk the walk.

I mean motivating me by being the kind of person that makes me a Better me! That’s what kind of friend I aspire to be. I think because it is much easier to be vulnerable and authentic in the presence of those with like desires. I don’t know all of the things in your life that cause you want to be vulnerable and authentic, more than the fear of others scorn; hopefully you are there and are ready for the ‘casters’ to arrive in your life and motivate you.

There is an old saying, ‘When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear.’

2. Menders – Relationships that Mend me.

Menders are those friends that know how administer grace when you need it the most. These are the friends that really know you better than you even know yourself. These are the friends that can show you the forest in spite of the trees. They are not impressed with your accomplishments like others are, and certainly are not afraid of your mess.

Mend – to make something (broken, torn, wore out) whole. By usable purpose by repairing
To remove and correct defects. Recovery of the sick, to knit grow back together. To improve
conditions and affairs

3. Washers – Relationships that Moisturize me.

Moisturize – to add or restore moisture, make moist, soft, and pliable again.

When people become dry they get brittle and break easily over time. They no longer know how to bend, they crack. These are those headed for a burnout, or are there and do not realize it.  Washer friends keep you from bitterness of soul, through the sheer joy they bring to your life.  They can bring peace and a light heart to about anyone. In these times especially we need these people in our lives.

Listen to the pod casts on this series. We go into more detail about how to identify these types of friends and just why they are important to you.

Click HERE! to listen…