Mark Marshall

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Tag kingdom life

Am I Friend Enough…

I love a girl, she is not mine by birth, but by the spirit. If I had a daughter she would be the one I would choose!
Of course I know she isn’t perfect, but to me she is. In God’s eyes she is known as one of the ‘favorites’. She has
been such a friend to me and my family for about 20 years. And back in the days when everyone and their brother
couldn’t get away from me and my family fast enough; there she was. I think when the scriptures talk about; “there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother”; I’m pretty sure she’s that friend to me.

She had complications during pregnancy, and had an emergency C Section. And by complications, I don’t mean it didn’t go as planned. And by emergency I don’t mean we couldn’t plan everything. I mean all hell broke loose! And the bottom line she just about stepped into glory. I talked to her husband a few days ago, and he told me the news and all the details. I mean like AFTER the emergency C Section she had a 3 hour surgery just to stop the bleeding.

And when I got the call I was on the way to a meeting that I could not get out of. But I was so distraught that I had to pull over and have a talk with Father. After I got my peace I fulfilled my meeting obligation. I got in my car, and immediately texted her husband for an update. When I got the update it was still not that great, but stable.

I remember hearing those words and thinking that I may not see her again. My heart was open and filled with presence. In that moment I had a thought; “Was I friend enough?” I mean was I real friend to the person that I truly love so much. I thought about how good of father I need to be to my sons. And even those in the faith. I thought about it all night didn’t sleep hardly at all. The next morning I got up and went to the hospital. But all the way there I was worshiping and realigning my thoughts to the fact that the one gift I have is ‘Friend’. Am I friend enough…. this has really occupied my thoughts these last few days.

I mean, am I friend enough?. If Kindness is my religion, then surely Friendship is my doctrine! I am exhorting you to be better friends to those that call you that. Ask yourself am I friend enough? I am going to do my best to stay connected and be a friend, because that is the highest calling on earth, to be called friend. Jesus said, I show you these things because you are friend. So to my ‘friends’ I say I love you and hope to catch up with you soon. Remember me in your prayers. Like St. Paul I hear, Oh wretched man that I am….

Much luv
MM

8 Things Open Minded is NOT

I have had a lot experiences and thoughts about open mindedness. I am fully aware of the fear people have concerning those of us who have ventured out in uncharted waters of thought and process.  Open mindedness is not something you usually equate to religious people.  But certainly Spiritual people have learned to embrace new things, thoughts, and realities. I am pretty sure I could write books on this subject, but I will give you the cliff note version.

When we used to travel all over I remember one of my biggest challenges was the Leadership.  I have always never been satisfied with the status quo.  I have always sought new ways of doing things, thinking things, system updates etc. So coming into churches and leadership training I would always bring new ideas to the table.  I quickly learned that it wasn’t difficult to get the people to think new things, but my number one challenge was the thought processes of the leadership and people.  Someone asked me during a radio interview about what is one of the things that are my biggest challenges in working with churches. I told them, ‘The hardest thing to change is the MIND’.

And lets face it, we all have experienced change in our lives. We will go through that process of change either via the way of Love and choice, or suffering the reality of fighting the will and choice.  The most important thing in our lives is our thoughts. It is the key to life, freedom, and spirituality. It is the only channel for change of any kind.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

So here are the 8 Characteristics of Open Mindedness:

1. An open mind is NOT merely a gullible mind.

2. An open mind is NOT necessarily a skeptic against the norm or against the established realm.

3. An open mind is NOT: not open to Change: All change and new perspective come from a space of open mindedness.

4. An open mind is NOT merely being relative or siding with current culture.

5. An open mind is NOT wishy washy; and or lacks a backbone.

6. An open mind is NOT having a (non opinion).

7. An open mind is NOT: not believing in (non Essential Truths, or the Concreteness of them)

8. An open mind is NOT a non spiritual reality.

Polarization of Humanity

I have been contemplating the thought; humans have no patience or endurance and therefore have long left the idea of a spirituality that actually practices. Aesthetic is so vital to the experiential realm of true spirituality.  Today’s society is transforming from the idea of hearers, to feelers.  At least the pendulum is swinging back to a spirituality that has experiences along with the concepts.  St. Symeon the Theologian says that, “Only through the experiences of God is He truly ever known.”

Today’s version of spirituality and conviction for life breathing decisions has come down to hearing.  You see the phases of spiritual constant renovation must go something like this: 1. Experience the presence and inward / outward reality. 2. Contemplative inward knowing beyond knowing, which leads to supernatural expression through practice. 3. Thinkers on a more educated life level, putting all of the pieces together for the logically dissemination to the masses. 4. Hearers are very easily ad-hearers, and become believers on hearing only platform.

This cycle will continue to come to the end of concepts and get reformed over and over again via the same process. The depths of reality of the Presence and awareness, can not be logically explained / taught. The true Spirit life can not be packaged for the masses!

I read  from a great book, “The Naked Now”, by Fr Richard Rohr,  ‘Humans tend to think because they agree or disagree with the idea of a thing, they have realistically encountered the thing itself.’  This strikes a chord in my heart. I fear the majority of our beliefs are based loosely on teachings or sermons from a Sunday morning service someone, and most of our theology too. The lack of practice and community, contemplative prayer and old fashion study and devotion, even void of experience, is a recipe for a people unable to see with eyes wide opened.

This totally happened to Adam, in Gen 3 He hid himself with his wife, from the presence! With their fragmented perception they could no longer make sense of the mystical union. We certainly still struggle with it today, our fragmented polarized perception has produced just over 50% divorce rate. That was still a mystical revelation of the relationship of Christ and the church.

My life changed some 13 years ago again! I got born again again! I became not afraid for once in my walk, and turned over every stone that I had been taught about God and spiritual reality. I measured them in the light of my new place. I can assure 32 years later I am much closer to KNOWING …than when I first believed.

People ask me all the time how I come to this realm and thoughts. I tell them its easy:

Get rid of your polarized identity, of good and evil. Reconcile both on the cross, and learn to walk free from the duality of this lower realm.
Learn to see all as one!
Endeavor to See God in ALL things…….and surrender to who we all say who God is…………selah

How I became Open Minded…

As God has blessed me, I have lived a humble but fruitful life. I have had the  opportunity to be a part of many notable miracles, served under some mighty men and women of God. Have had great success in the Business world, but my greatest of all achievements is definitely my family and who they have become as people.

I remember the night that the new Texas Stadium opened up, I think that they hosted an OU vs BYU football game, I’m not sure.  At halftime they asked Jerry Jones the Guru and owner of all of that monstrosity; “Jerry is this your crowning achievement?” His reply was no, my greatest crowning achievement of my life is not this Billion dollar stadium, but the 7th grade season in football I got to coach my son, THAT Jerry says, was my crowning achievement.”

That rang true for me. We moved to Michigan in the summer of 2000, in a strange land, with no family, support, or friends. We went on faith and hope. I can say it was totally a God thing the whole way, I made friends for life.  One thing I was blessed with as an independent business owner, is being in control of my schedule.  The boys were in the 4th grade when we moved there. I always played and still love all sports. My boys were so awesome at it. I began volunteering on the fourth grade team in football. After football then came baseball, I volunteered. Then after that came summer basketball, I became a coach as well. You see I was blessed to not only attend, every single sporting event for my boys, from 4th grade to college, I was blessed the opportunity to coach them as well.  I was able to move from little league, to Jr High, to High School, which I count as a huge blessing. If I died today I would be a fulfilled and happy man believe me, I have been given so many blessings and opportunities that most will never see in a lifetime.

My greatest blessing to date is knowing all of my sons, and wife are all humanitarians, full of love for all mankind. They have no judgement in their hearts, and are not prejudice in any way. This I am the proudest of in all my life. This brings me to reality that brought us to this path. Since the fall and winter of 1999 I was  invited by force, to become a mystic with an open mind.  My wife and 3 young sons had lost all of our income through ministry. We were betrayed and rejected by prominent ministry friends.  At the time for a few months after we lost all of our house and cars, we were living in a two bedroom apartment on the campus at Stillwater OSU.  We had no car, my wife took a taxi to work to cook at a sorority house, and I caught rides to work part time remodeling a kitchen for an awesome friend. We were paying 25.00 a month for rent, because of the graciousness of an amazing woman who still thought I was a man of God in spite of what others thought. I mean I have no way to convey to you the history, the magnitude of being lied about on a daily basis, etc…but all the while maintaining an amazing walk with God that honestly I havent seen the like since.

I believe open mindedness is truly achieved through a series of events that force no other course of action. As long as your ducks or in a row ( or appear to be to all those around you) Im sure you think Im nuts; honestly you are supposed to, move on and we will see you later on. If you think I’m crazy, or a loose cannon it’s all good, you are just not ready.  But to those who have been through some things that don’t fit any of your models of training, not understanding of what has happened, then you are at the right place and the right time. Let me tell you the magnitude of events that may cause you to ‘Open your eyes NEO’, from the Matrix movie. We had a prominant minister friend steal my data base of all of the contacts I had, they had spread damning lies about me and my ministry team. Consequently all of the meetings I had booked for two years straight for every weekend was cancelled. Every single pastor cancelled, without the exception of two, which are still great friends of mine for life. Not one single person called to see how we were doing, or etc.

Believe this………..EVERYONE LOVES you when you are winning…….. NO ONE wants to be associated with a shady loser….You will find your friends when you have nothing to offer them by way of fame or recognition, or pay….believe me, and if there is a great call on your life you may walk the same shoes.

The beauty of the whole story is; it created an open spirit and mind within my heart! I began to question everything and every one that I believed in. My criteria for love, and truth and for what was important changed dramatically. I began the journey of the open mind / open heart.

Discovering the RealU 4

Today I am pondering the possibility of discovering your true identity apart from manifesting your destiny. When I say discovering your divine identity I am not merely talking about the mental ascent to understanding. But rather in the revealing and being who you know you are at your core. With this thought in mind then I can see how walking out your destiny or purpose is closely linked to walking out your divine nature. This journey has taken me quite a while. I started out by the realization that I even had a divine nature. In the beginning of my process I just wanted to follow Jesus. I never dreamed that this journey would take me to this place!

Here is my process so far: Following Jesus was certainly the beginning and of course I still do that today. But it evolved into a great hunger to do the works and do what He did, I mean after all He did promise us that we could do His works. After years of that pursuit, I began to desire to be like Him. I wanted, and still do, to be more like Him in His response to humanity. I can only imagine how awesome it must have been to sit and eat a meal with Jesus back in the day. I am certain you would just feel empowered, loved, not judged, and embraced all by His very essence. I have felt this many times over and over again. But I honestly began the pursuit of Heart of God, not just His works.

This wound up being a twenty year journey so far. I haven’t mastered the Character of Christ just yet, but I certainly am a million miles from where I was. When I was young and zealous in the beginning, everyone could not deny my consecration and passion. But they were turned off by my nature and rough judgemental spirit. I know it’s hard for people to believe that really know me. But years ago I wasn’t the person I am today. That is why I tell people you don’t need Jesus to become a good moral person. It seems we have shrunk the whole of Christianity into being ‘blessed’, avoiding troubles, helping a few poor people along the way. But the underlying message has become, a true Jesus follower is a good moral person! This concept should be a given! I mean honestly you can have Jesus in your mind and heart, but the real question is does He have yours? I mean do you have the Spirit or does He have you? I have met and had very hurtful encounters from people who were followers of Jesus, and filled with the Holy Spirit. It is not those that have the Spirit that determine sonship. On the contrary, St. Paul says, “those who are LED by the Spirit, THEY are the Sons of God.”

I know plenty of unbelievers, Hindus, Buddhists, and Muslims who are amazingly loving and good moral people. So that criteria alone can not make the determining factor. You can be a good moral person, and still miss the nature of Christ in every area. I mean a good moral person, goes to work, provides for his family, doesn’t lie, cheat, and pays his taxes. But he can still be full of envy, bitterness, poison, gossip, and back biting. So in my mind the pursuit of Christ Conscienceness and the purpose of becoming a Follower of Jesus has more to with ‘becoming’ in Nature. Some of the best advice I got from my mentor years and years ago was hard to swallow but it saved my life.  My spiritual father and mentor at the time told me that I was way too rough around the edges, and I was teaching the letter of word, but missing the spirit of it completely. He said, “I want you to spend the next few months and read nothing but the ‘RED LETTERS.” I was obedient and the rest shall we say is history.

Reading those red letters for those months changed my whole life. It launched me in to the next step of the process which went from wanting to be like Him, to BE Him! I know this doesn’t fit into the religious boxes of most, but I have been observing and watching on sidelines for years. The concepts have to be revealed and shared. I can just hear my old self saying, “Now come on nobody can be perfect, there is only one Jesus.” Well that is true, Jesus is the summation of the Son of God becoming the Son of Man. St. Athanasius said, “The Son of God became man, so that the sons of men might become the Sons of God.” So in this light it is not a stretch for me to pursue the possibility of becoming not only ‘like’ Jesus, but to become Him. And let me say we can not only do this, but it IS the High calling of God in Christ. We can only pursue this place by the grace of God, the Life of the Spirit and in the Spirit of Christ. Another great saint of old said, “The more I know thee, the more I know me.”

You can not enter into this zone without being one with humanity. As a matter of fact if you are eating the tree of knowledge and evil still you will think I’ve lost my mind and crazy about now. But the greatest mystery of all is to manifest Christ in you the hope of glory. We will not consistently manifest the works and heart of Jesus without striving to do them as Him. Remember this concept; Jesus was not crucified for doing the miracles alone. He was crucified primarily because He said God was His Father, and that He was one with Him.

So the pursuit for me has become to manifest and discover the REAL ME. The Real Me is my Divine Nature where the seed of Christ dwells. Since I am one with Him, and reconciliation has taken place. We are in Him and He is in us. So in my divine nature manifestation it will reveal the Christ in me! What a mystery!

My Process:
I wanted to follow Jesus for all He had done for me
I desired to be like Him
I pursued to the possibility to Be Him
I am on a discovery to know and reveal the Divine Nature Me
In this I bring Heaven to Earth

Back to my subject intro. It is futile to pursue your destiny apart from being. They are one in the same, and will take you to the same place. If you get to the place of manifesting and walking in your destiny, take a look at your nature I bet you have changed!

1. All of us have the divine ability to create
2. You find your destiny and or purpose in your passion
3. Very few will make a living at what they are passionate about (not entirely)
4. Manifesting purpose and meaning to the world is a journey (it’s revealed in the art of being and doing, not a destination)
5. Squandering your gifts and talents will bring torment and distress to your life

1. “I’m not very creative” doesn’t work. There is no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t. Unused creativity doesn’t just disappear. It lives within us until it’s expressed, neglected to death, or suffocated by resentment and fear.

The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity.

If we want to make meaning, we need to make art. Cook, write, draw, doodle, paint, scrapbook, take pictures, collage, knit, rebuild and engine, sculpt, dance, decorate, act, sing it doesn’t matter. As long as we are creating, we are cultivating meaning
(The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown Ph.D., L.M.S.W. pg 98)

We all have the opportunity to create and bring gifts to the world. Most of us pre-judge our ability or the fact that no one would enjoy our gifts. So consequently we just do nothing about it. There is a great reward for manifesting and creating in this dimension. That reward is the overwhelming sense of added value to our lives. I think we all have it within us to help others by serving, or creating things that make their lives a little bit better. So with that thought in mind I would like to offer this new way of looking at our destiny and purpose. I found this new concept quite refreshing on looking at our lives.

When we were younger the teacher and our relatives would ask us, What we wanted to be when we grow up? Now as adults people don’t ask in those certain terms. I have been full-time in my own business and ministry since 1994. It hasn’t always been easy, but I have met so many wonderful and interesting people. I have had the opportunity  to travel quite a bit. Here is the new version of the old question. When you get on a plane it’s very interesting to watch people. That’s really what I love to do the most, meet and watch people in their environment. I always joke with my friends about the two-hour relationship I have with someone between cities on a flight. It is very comical, sometimes I am just too tired and I want to say to them, “you know what I’m sorry but this relationship isn’t going to work for me, because we are just going to break up after this flight.”  I am just teasing, I have made actual friends that I still keep in contact with on flights. I have learned about some really cool important stuff. I have actually been on flights with like 85 team member cheer squad! Talk about an exciting trip. I have been on flights with celebrities. I have sit next to moms, priests, business owners, first time flyers, music moguls, college coaches, NBA Coaches, trainers and the such.  You name it in eleven years of constant flying you will see about everything.

I have narrowed the groups of travellers into groups: business, leisure (family), school or sports, or vacationers. I remember way before laptops and the iPods there was cassettes and or conversation. Being from the midwest doesn’t help because we all know how friendly we are. When you travel in the northeast it is a little different. The people are a lot more business minded and rigid. Striking up a conversation with them isn’t usually necessary. But in this arena for those few moments here is the new version of the what do you want to be when you grow up question.

The first thing we usually ask each other is, 1. Where are you headed today? 2. Are you travelling for business or leisure? 3. WHAT DO YOU DO (for a living)?  That question of ‘what do you do’ has puzzled me. I mean it’s like a measuring stick in others’ minds of your value and or worth.  And let’s face it, not all of us have an interesting comeback and or a way to impress the person asking the question. I love my friend so much he travels all over the world and is a president of a corporation and he is a very interesting, genuine person with loads of wit and wisdom. I would be proud to answer the question of what do you do if I was him. But sometimes the answer to what do you do (for a living) isn’t always a measuring stick for who I am as a person! And I don’t want to be put into a box of someone else’s opinion of who I am as a person or my worth or value. I mean I learned a long time ago that if I said, I work in the church field, or minister it would hardly fly as a conversation starter. Our two-hour relationship would usually never get off of the ground. Primarily because of  people’s pre-conceived ideas of the church world in general.

So with that in mind I would say well, I’m a motivational speaker, or I’m a dreamcaster, or visionary. These are all true. I remember a few years ago I would get so frustrated with the whole conversation and say crazy stuff like, I’m a counselor on Radio. Which was all true by the way, I was on the radio for a good while. But I found myself not wanting to be in a box. I don’t want my worth to be measured in a sound bite of what I do for a living. I don’t want to be measured by which section I sit in on the plane, or how I am dressed for the day, or which new phone or electronic gadget I use. I have rebelled against the system it seems my whole career. I just didn’t want to be put into the box and limited to what others would determine what my worth would be. There have been times I have worn suits, because of my meetings upcoming and time schedules. There are other times I wear coaching sweats and flip-flops in first class.

It wasn’t until I discovered the concept of living in the slash. The honest truth, when someone asks us what do we do, our response should be, “How much time do you have?” Aside of my duties of being a father, husband, friend, son and leader. I make money from being a web designer and mentor and trainer and speaker. But even in all this it’s not the sum total of who I am. So many of us might think of what we do to make money or jobs as the primary thing of importance and anything else we do to create meaning is secondary and not a part of who we are.

Marci Alboher wrote a book called, One Person/ Multiple Careers: A New Model for Work / Life Success. If you were to ask my wife she would say, I’m a Research Assistant, Grad Student, (gardener) (photographer) (book lover). But in Marci’s book it is about living within the slash and not parenthesis. It would be Research Assistant / Grad Student / Gardener / Photographer / Book Lover. This concept gives more value in our lives towards the things that bring meaning. I’ve said before few of us have the opportunity to make money doing what we love, but it doesn’t make what we love any less important or valuable. So in this concept you can live within the slash.

Examples might be, fisherman/documentary filmmaker/singer, or accountant/blogger/ musician. Or how about lawyer/chef/cartoonist. When I discovered this concept it opened a whole new value system to my being. My slashes are becoming many but it’s becoming more of a whole expression of the answer to, “What do you do?”

In this present time here is my answer: I’m a Mentor/Leader/Trainer/Minister/Prophet/Deacon/Writer/Singer/Songwriter/Musician/Psalmist/Football Coach/Theologian/Mystic/…

What are you?

Discovering the RealU 2

I was talking to one of my sons a few months ago about what he wanted to do for a living, and or career. I found his response and logic quite different from what I expected. His reply was, ” I want to get involved in some kind of schooling that requires the least amount of time and the most pay”. You know we have been trained to think this way in our carnal perspectives. Some people try to find jobs, some seek careers with benefits. Remember years ago that if you had a steady job and health insurance and 401k then life couldn’t be better. The only problem is benefits costs more, and cover less. Investments are shaky, and it’s not even a good reason at all to work. Not to mention the idea of doing something that gives meaning and purpose.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t work and provide for our families. But now being fifty and knowing what I know about life and regretful choices I have made concerning my career; it’s painful to think my son has this ideology. It’s like I am going to try to find work and or career based upon my own personal evaluation of my current abilities. I was so pained to know that my son was trying to shrink all of his ambition and creativity in life to a job. That is such a carnal ‘safe’ move. The truth is I know for a fact if he went to school, learned a trade and entered the grind of life with credit, debt, and benefits he would end up miserable in about 20 years. I am trying to help him avoid that at all cost. I mean just think if you were 20 years old again, with no debts and a clean slate what kind of life you would plan and shoot for. I can tell you I could paint you the most color picture of what I would like to accomplish, I definitely wouldn’t be painting with just two colors.  So many want to play life and career safe, and stay in all of the lines. Some even venture out and color with not just black and white, but with the 8 basic colors of the color wheel! Well lets don’t throw a party just yet, my printer is supposed to be able to print 16 and even 32 million color variations! Just think of the colors that we can’t even see.

What I saw my son doing was trying to make a career choice based upon his natural ability, and what he thought he was good at. He never even considered that it might be possible to actually plan and achieve a career path with his dream involved. I honestly think so many people are miserable in our country because things just didn’t pan out the way they had hoped. I also think that the financial crisis is a blessing from God to get people out of their dead-end jobs, and move towards creating meaning and purpose as opposed to just existing. So many are refocusing and redefining themselves in this hour. I have a suspicion that the next ten years of our lives we as people will do more for humanity than the previous fifty!  So what do we do if we have a good job with benefits, and like the work and provides for our families and lifestyle? How do I convert that into meaningful work? Do I have to go back to school or change careers?

The answer is NO! You know the carnal mind will always choose the path with the least amount of risk, and the most sense of certainty. But faith is a scary journey! But then there is plain old stupidity. I mean it’s confusing to me how people go from supporting their families and then all of a sudden quit everything to minister, and not even have any where to minister. So lets take a deep breath here and soak up some thoughts. The truth is we all have an aching deep in our  being to create something, and or do something that has meaning and or significance. The Destiny message has been revealed and we are definitely on board, but no one ever tells us what that looks like or how you get there! What if I told you that you can ‘have’ your cake and ‘eat’ it too!  Let me help you see something; if you can see these things you will become more ready to move forward.

1. All of us have the divine ability to create
2. You find your destiny and or purpose in your passion
3. Very few will make a living at what they are passionate about (not entirely)
4. Manifesting purpose and meaning to the world is a journey (it’s revealed in the art of being and doing, not a destination)
5. Squandering your gifts and talents will bring torment and distress to your life

Discovering the RealU

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”  I suppose there is not an American alive that hasn’t been asked this question, either in Kindergarten or First grade. I’m thinking today of what the answers might have been when we were young and full of hope, and faith. I remember in my class there were replies of  Teacher, astronaut, Football Player, Singer, Business Owner, and even the President.

Today I am wondering how many of us ‘became’ what we wanted to be when we grew up? Were we told that we can be anything we want, but without ever explaining or teaching how that might ever happen? Or maybe you are still like me, I still often talk to my wife about what I want to be when I grow up. You see I haven’t reached my full desired goal so that must mean that I am just not grown yet?

I think there is a mistake made continually in the fact that we equate what we do with who we are. But on the same note what you do can reveal a bit of who you really are at your core. If you do from a place of being. My classic example would be that of Adam. He was created as a living soul, which is better translated as a ‘living Being’. After the fall he became a “human doing’. In other words in the Garden he did and worked from a place of identity, but outside of the garden he worked from a place of doing, which always leads to a need for identity. Our carnal fallen culture is constantly ‘doing’ to discover their divine identity. But it is so misleading and a terrible trap. The carnal mind is our false sense of self. This form of identity is always equated with doing, and having. The more quantitative you do or have, then surely you are in full assurance of your identity.

So how did we get from ‘being’ to ‘doing? I think it was from the changing culture and times over the years. Over the years our forefathers after the Great Depression were just grateful to have jobs. Most of them farmed and supplied to industry. This ushered in the Industrial age where people and families grew up manufacturing plants, making cars, steel mills, and everything imaginable. This was a great foundation because it afforded the children of these ‘Job Minded’ people to give education to their children. In the old days is was very rare that someone would actually not retire in the job that they had done for thirty or forty years. Now a days, its more on the rare side.

After our forefathers children went to school, many of them became our parents, and ‘career minded’. You see the career minded group was playing into the false sense of being, more like doing. I am what I do, and or what I have, and even who I know. You see back in the old days people would pick ‘Jobs’ based upon talent and ability.  So they would try to apply for Jobs that they could do, and hopefully do it really well, and long enough to receive some benefits. The ‘Career’ group is more focused upon the pay and benefits. This group would go to school based upon probable need in the future, and benefits and pay scale. While longevity is still the goal, but not without stepping-stones of merit along the way.

When I was in High School we were required to take aptitude test that would somehow formulate the best job, or career choice. It was a grueling three-day test to help the counselors help guide you in the right career path. I think it was a military backed test so, pretty scary really. They were probably trying to sway the brainiacs, luckily I wasnt in the radar. So after you find what you might be good at, then you were to find the schooling and training to help you fulfill what you are good at. Then hopefully negotiate a pay. The biggest issue I feel cheated about in this journey some 35 years ago, was the counselor never asked me what are you passionate about? It was always work based, like what do you think you could do, or like to do. In other words lets test your skill set, and find the best paying job.

But there is a new generation rising up. They might work a job for pay just to get by or pay the bills, they realize that is a life-sustaining event. I read somewhere for the first time in history there will be more educated people working in fields of life that they weren’t trained in for the first time in History. I think it was a rather large number. Like 60% or higher will work in a field they weren’t trained in. Example of a Financial executive gets offers from IBM or some company, with good salary, benefits. But he will choose a non-profit sector start-up to help suffering people in other countries. Believe me when I tell you this in not an isolated event, this is the movement of our generation.

Our forefathers wanted a job, their children and children’s children wanted a career, but this group wants to make a difference and live their passion!  When you think about it, when you choose to live your passion you actually are making affirmations and answering the questions of ‘What to you want to BE when you grow up, not DO!’ The only thing is most people don’t get paid to live their passion, but its the only way to live an authentic life, and discover the real U. The next blog I will go into more detail about that I’m talking about. Until then Grace & Peace and share this please!

Purpose for your pain…

The definition for pain according to Wikipedia:

Pain is “an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or potential tissue damage, or described in terms of such damage.”It is the feeling common to such experiences as stubbing a toe, burning a finger, putting iodine on a cut, and bumping the “funny bone”.

Pain motivates us to withdraw from potentially damaging situations, protect a damaged body part while it heals, and avoid those situations in the future. Most pain resolves promptly once the painful stimulus is removed and the body has healed, but sometimes pain persists despite removal of the stimulus and apparent healing of the body; and sometimes pain arises in the absence of any detectable stimulus, damage or disease.

I was teaching at Triumphant Church in Detroit yesterday morning when this concept became very clear to me. My very best friend in Oklahoma had an accident while cutting trees that had fallen during a storm. The tree suddenly fell on him, and broke his L-1 Lumbar, actually shattered it to pieces. It was horrific, but God was even faithful through all of it. The first couple of nights in the hospital were some of the roughest. His surgeon that was one of the best in the nation was out of the country. So in the mean time my friend had to wait two days for surgery with the fragments of the vertebrae everywhere. The calls from his wife were heart wrenching because of the pain and suffering he was going through.

Here is what I learned about the pain management. On the second night he was in so much pain, we were all praying but couldn’t understand why they couldn’t give him enough pain medication to keep him comfortable. His wife told me that night that one of the bone fragments was like a hair-line away from his spinal cord. If that fragment would have punctured or cut his spinal cord he would most assuredly been paralyzed. She told me that they didn’t want all of the pain to go away, so that he would not move around too much and take a chance of paralyzing himself. He of course at the time didn’t know this, but knew his pain was excruciating. So the pain was actual and potential damage. It was left in place to keep him from hurting himself even more than he already was!

The third day was the four-hour surgery. It went successful as planned. He is a proud owner of a titanium vertebrae and some hardware. All the while he has totally feeling and used of his extremities and even without any numbing or tingling. You see after the surgery he seemed relieved from the pain, he felt great. Talking to him on the phone was just like old times. So after the surgery the doctors gave him this new medicine that actually blocks the pain receptors. So now being pain-free for the most part he was able to move around and do his therapy and exercises! If the pain had not been managed, then his recovery most certainly would have been a slower process. Within a week in the hospital, he was walking on his own, and actually went home a day early. He is still recovering miraculously. I know for a fact it is by the mercy and power of God’s grace, the prayers of the saints. But I think today the pain management and the way it was handled had a lot to do with my friends positive attitude. You see this kind of faith is unstoppable. He is supposed to remain home bound for six weeks, at this rate I highly doubt it. After being home just a couple of days from a most traumatic accident, he was at one of his son’s baseball games. It’s hard to keep this man down, he has more faith than anyone else I have ever met.

Let’s bring this idea closer to home. No one wants to suffer or experience any kind of pain. But pain is result of injury and designed to keep you from further damage. You learn lessons from pain. I remember the old school way of teaching a child not to touch the stove, guess what they will only touch it once in their lives! So in a real sense pain can be a teacher to keep you out of harms way. What I realized yesterday morning while I was teaching was it might be quite possible that your current pain via be relational, emotional, etc. could be keeping you from hurting yourself even more permanently. Like as if my friend would have moved around too much, he might have paralyzed himself without knowing. In the same fashion, if you have a relational breakdown with a spouse don’t compound the pain by going out and doing something stupid. This action may result in doing irreversible damage to your relationship.

One thing for sure pain and suffering is a part of the transformation process from the carnal to the spiritual. Until we become totally free in our minds we will suffer. Suffering and going through things in this life is inevitable. Even Jesus said, in the world we would have tribulation, but be of good courage. And again St. Paul says God will make a way of escape, that you might endure the process. St Peter talked a lot about suffering in so much that he said it was a necessary element in establishing you. He says in First Peter that the God of all grace after you have suffered a while, God will strengthen, establish, and settle you. He will not allow you to suffer above that which you can take. The crazy thing is the thing you are going through that you don’t think you can, but you still are, because you CAN!

Pain is relative to each person’s threshold. If you ever visit a doctor for any kind of pain you will be asked to give a number between 1 and 10 to describe your pain. Also the length of your pain will be relative to which stage of the process you are in. If you are in the protective stage, your pain will remain to keep you from moving and further risking damaging yourself. If you are coming out of the process, then your pain will slowly dissipate as you learn to walk through and past it.

Just know for certainty today. Your ego and carnal mind is the source of all of your pain and suffering. So as you slowly become enlightened you will experience this pain of letting go and exercising your ‘new’ eyes, and muscles.

Belonging and Fitting In

I may have missed my calling just a bit, I am fascinated in my older age by the behavior and thinking among humans. I find myself studying, doing hours and hours of research on the subject. I came across this idea of belonging versus fitting in. They are not the same thing. Belonging and connection are at the core of every person alive. Fitting in is an external or internal adjustment on someone’s part to belong artificially.

Teenagers master this skill because it is inherited in our DNA. Because of our need to belong, the inability to be authentic and courageous leaves us no choice but to fit in or conform. Fitting in is about changing my authentic self, in my looks, desires, attitudes etc to conform into the desired crowd or relationship. We have done it so long that honestly people have mistaken this for their real self!

My friend Toby told the basic needs of all humans
1. To be fully known
2. To be fully loved
3. To be fully connected (I added this one)

All of the driving forces within us cause us to seek these things through our human strengths. Brene Brown Ph.D. says,” Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued: when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derived sustenance and strength from the relationship.” You see to be connected in this sense requires you to be authentic and vulnerable. It’s definitely a learned process. If you think about your first date that you have with your potential mate, the fear and anxiety of fitting in and finding approval. Now think of the authenticity of the relationship after you are married for 20 years!

Daniel Goleman wrote a book called, Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships. Daniel proves through neuroscience that we are hardwired for connection and that our relationships shape our biology as well as our experiences. He writes,”Even our most routine encounters act as regulators in the brain priming our emotions, some desirable, others not. The more strongly connected we are with someone emotionally the greater the mutual force.”

One of the biggest problems is our culture. We are driven to succeed and are identified by what we have. It’s sad to say but most people in our country have an identity crisis. Our self-worth is affected by our net worth, and we base our worthiness upon our productivity. Meaning we feel better about ourselves in a worth sense based upon how far we got down our to-do-list for the day! Another huge problem in our society is we have now handed out busyness, and exhaustion as badges of honor! We are way too busy to even know what we are about anymore. Our children are way too busy, we are creating the same world for them that we hate about our own!

If connecting requires me to be authentic then it’s quite the opposite for ‘fitting in’. The idea of fitting in requires me to begin a comparison process to determine my level of fitting in, and which crowd or friends I will have. Unfortunately comparison is all about conformity and competition. If we are not careful we will find ourselves only feeling adequate or enough when we are doing better than. Better than is a myth that the carnal minds plays on you to get you to connect without authenticity. Technology has connected people but not so much in a heart to heart fashion, but sort of in a plastic way!

I remember last year I was in a funk. I just couldn’t shake it. My birthday rolled around and to see all of the posts on my Facebook really gave me a charge. My feelings of worth and value shot up. Well this year the same thing happened. I think in those two days I received over 350 well wishes and emails. While I was basking in the ‘love’, I heard my self say, “how would you be feeling if you would have only received 5 well wishes instead of 350?” So then I realized the people I have true connections with are enough to sustain me. I have to learn to enough without adding the ____________ at the end of the sentence.

Answer this question, “I will feel better about myself and my life when ________________________(happens, or gets done….ie: lose weight, make more money, etc etc….) You have to fill in the blank and be honest to yourself. The challenge that I am working on is to be enough already. And learn to accept and love the person God has already made me to be at my core!