Mark Marshall

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How I became Open Minded…

As God has blessed me, I have lived a humble but fruitful life. I have had the  opportunity to be a part of many notable miracles, served under some mighty men and women of God. Have had great success in the Business world, but my greatest of all achievements is definitely my family and who they have become as people.

I remember the night that the new Texas Stadium opened up, I think that they hosted an OU vs BYU football game, I’m not sure.  At halftime they asked Jerry Jones the Guru and owner of all of that monstrosity; “Jerry is this your crowning achievement?” His reply was no, my greatest crowning achievement of my life is not this Billion dollar stadium, but the 7th grade season in football I got to coach my son, THAT Jerry says, was my crowning achievement.”

That rang true for me. We moved to Michigan in the summer of 2000, in a strange land, with no family, support, or friends. We went on faith and hope. I can say it was totally a God thing the whole way, I made friends for life.  One thing I was blessed with as an independent business owner, is being in control of my schedule.  The boys were in the 4th grade when we moved there. I always played and still love all sports. My boys were so awesome at it. I began volunteering on the fourth grade team in football. After football then came baseball, I volunteered. Then after that came summer basketball, I became a coach as well. You see I was blessed to not only attend, every single sporting event for my boys, from 4th grade to college, I was blessed the opportunity to coach them as well.  I was able to move from little league, to Jr High, to High School, which I count as a huge blessing. If I died today I would be a fulfilled and happy man believe me, I have been given so many blessings and opportunities that most will never see in a lifetime.

My greatest blessing to date is knowing all of my sons, and wife are all humanitarians, full of love for all mankind. They have no judgement in their hearts, and are not prejudice in any way. This I am the proudest of in all my life. This brings me to reality that brought us to this path. Since the fall and winter of 1999 I was  invited by force, to become a mystic with an open mind.  My wife and 3 young sons had lost all of our income through ministry. We were betrayed and rejected by prominent ministry friends.  At the time for a few months after we lost all of our house and cars, we were living in a two bedroom apartment on the campus at Stillwater OSU.  We had no car, my wife took a taxi to work to cook at a sorority house, and I caught rides to work part time remodeling a kitchen for an awesome friend. We were paying 25.00 a month for rent, because of the graciousness of an amazing woman who still thought I was a man of God in spite of what others thought. I mean I have no way to convey to you the history, the magnitude of being lied about on a daily basis, etc…but all the while maintaining an amazing walk with God that honestly I havent seen the like since.

I believe open mindedness is truly achieved through a series of events that force no other course of action. As long as your ducks or in a row ( or appear to be to all those around you) Im sure you think Im nuts; honestly you are supposed to, move on and we will see you later on. If you think I’m crazy, or a loose cannon it’s all good, you are just not ready.  But to those who have been through some things that don’t fit any of your models of training, not understanding of what has happened, then you are at the right place and the right time. Let me tell you the magnitude of events that may cause you to ‘Open your eyes NEO’, from the Matrix movie. We had a prominant minister friend steal my data base of all of the contacts I had, they had spread damning lies about me and my ministry team. Consequently all of the meetings I had booked for two years straight for every weekend was cancelled. Every single pastor cancelled, without the exception of two, which are still great friends of mine for life. Not one single person called to see how we were doing, or etc.

Believe this………..EVERYONE LOVES you when you are winning…….. NO ONE wants to be associated with a shady loser….You will find your friends when you have nothing to offer them by way of fame or recognition, or pay….believe me, and if there is a great call on your life you may walk the same shoes.

The beauty of the whole story is; it created an open spirit and mind within my heart! I began to question everything and every one that I believed in. My criteria for love, and truth and for what was important changed dramatically. I began the journey of the open mind / open heart.

1. All of us have the divine ability to create
2. You find your destiny and or purpose in your passion
3. Very few will make a living at what they are passionate about (not entirely)
4. Manifesting purpose and meaning to the world is a journey (it’s revealed in the art of being and doing, not a destination)
5. Squandering your gifts and talents will bring torment and distress to your life

1. “I’m not very creative” doesn’t work. There is no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t. Unused creativity doesn’t just disappear. It lives within us until it’s expressed, neglected to death, or suffocated by resentment and fear.

The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity.

If we want to make meaning, we need to make art. Cook, write, draw, doodle, paint, scrapbook, take pictures, collage, knit, rebuild and engine, sculpt, dance, decorate, act, sing it doesn’t matter. As long as we are creating, we are cultivating meaning
(The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown Ph.D., L.M.S.W. pg 98)

We all have the opportunity to create and bring gifts to the world. Most of us pre-judge our ability or the fact that no one would enjoy our gifts. So consequently we just do nothing about it. There is a great reward for manifesting and creating in this dimension. That reward is the overwhelming sense of added value to our lives. I think we all have it within us to help others by serving, or creating things that make their lives a little bit better. So with that thought in mind I would like to offer this new way of looking at our destiny and purpose. I found this new concept quite refreshing on looking at our lives.

When we were younger the teacher and our relatives would ask us, What we wanted to be when we grow up? Now as adults people don’t ask in those certain terms. I have been full-time in my own business and ministry since 1994. It hasn’t always been easy, but I have met so many wonderful and interesting people. I have had the opportunity  to travel quite a bit. Here is the new version of the old question. When you get on a plane it’s very interesting to watch people. That’s really what I love to do the most, meet and watch people in their environment. I always joke with my friends about the two-hour relationship I have with someone between cities on a flight. It is very comical, sometimes I am just too tired and I want to say to them, “you know what I’m sorry but this relationship isn’t going to work for me, because we are just going to break up after this flight.”  I am just teasing, I have made actual friends that I still keep in contact with on flights. I have learned about some really cool important stuff. I have actually been on flights with like 85 team member cheer squad! Talk about an exciting trip. I have been on flights with celebrities. I have sit next to moms, priests, business owners, first time flyers, music moguls, college coaches, NBA Coaches, trainers and the such.  You name it in eleven years of constant flying you will see about everything.

I have narrowed the groups of travellers into groups: business, leisure (family), school or sports, or vacationers. I remember way before laptops and the iPods there was cassettes and or conversation. Being from the midwest doesn’t help because we all know how friendly we are. When you travel in the northeast it is a little different. The people are a lot more business minded and rigid. Striking up a conversation with them isn’t usually necessary. But in this arena for those few moments here is the new version of the what do you want to be when you grow up question.

The first thing we usually ask each other is, 1. Where are you headed today? 2. Are you travelling for business or leisure? 3. WHAT DO YOU DO (for a living)?  That question of ‘what do you do’ has puzzled me. I mean it’s like a measuring stick in others’ minds of your value and or worth.  And let’s face it, not all of us have an interesting comeback and or a way to impress the person asking the question. I love my friend so much he travels all over the world and is a president of a corporation and he is a very interesting, genuine person with loads of wit and wisdom. I would be proud to answer the question of what do you do if I was him. But sometimes the answer to what do you do (for a living) isn’t always a measuring stick for who I am as a person! And I don’t want to be put into a box of someone else’s opinion of who I am as a person or my worth or value. I mean I learned a long time ago that if I said, I work in the church field, or minister it would hardly fly as a conversation starter. Our two-hour relationship would usually never get off of the ground. Primarily because of  people’s pre-conceived ideas of the church world in general.

So with that in mind I would say well, I’m a motivational speaker, or I’m a dreamcaster, or visionary. These are all true. I remember a few years ago I would get so frustrated with the whole conversation and say crazy stuff like, I’m a counselor on Radio. Which was all true by the way, I was on the radio for a good while. But I found myself not wanting to be in a box. I don’t want my worth to be measured in a sound bite of what I do for a living. I don’t want to be measured by which section I sit in on the plane, or how I am dressed for the day, or which new phone or electronic gadget I use. I have rebelled against the system it seems my whole career. I just didn’t want to be put into the box and limited to what others would determine what my worth would be. There have been times I have worn suits, because of my meetings upcoming and time schedules. There are other times I wear coaching sweats and flip-flops in first class.

It wasn’t until I discovered the concept of living in the slash. The honest truth, when someone asks us what do we do, our response should be, “How much time do you have?” Aside of my duties of being a father, husband, friend, son and leader. I make money from being a web designer and mentor and trainer and speaker. But even in all this it’s not the sum total of who I am. So many of us might think of what we do to make money or jobs as the primary thing of importance and anything else we do to create meaning is secondary and not a part of who we are.

Marci Alboher wrote a book called, One Person/ Multiple Careers: A New Model for Work / Life Success. If you were to ask my wife she would say, I’m a Research Assistant, Grad Student, (gardener) (photographer) (book lover). But in Marci’s book it is about living within the slash and not parenthesis. It would be Research Assistant / Grad Student / Gardener / Photographer / Book Lover. This concept gives more value in our lives towards the things that bring meaning. I’ve said before few of us have the opportunity to make money doing what we love, but it doesn’t make what we love any less important or valuable. So in this concept you can live within the slash.

Examples might be, fisherman/documentary filmmaker/singer, or accountant/blogger/ musician. Or how about lawyer/chef/cartoonist. When I discovered this concept it opened a whole new value system to my being. My slashes are becoming many but it’s becoming more of a whole expression of the answer to, “What do you do?”

In this present time here is my answer: I’m a Mentor/Leader/Trainer/Minister/Prophet/Deacon/Writer/Singer/Songwriter/Musician/Psalmist/Football Coach/Theologian/Mystic/…

What are you?

Discovering the RealU 2

I was talking to one of my sons a few months ago about what he wanted to do for a living, and or career. I found his response and logic quite different from what I expected. His reply was, ” I want to get involved in some kind of schooling that requires the least amount of time and the most pay”. You know we have been trained to think this way in our carnal perspectives. Some people try to find jobs, some seek careers with benefits. Remember years ago that if you had a steady job and health insurance and 401k then life couldn’t be better. The only problem is benefits costs more, and cover less. Investments are shaky, and it’s not even a good reason at all to work. Not to mention the idea of doing something that gives meaning and purpose.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t work and provide for our families. But now being fifty and knowing what I know about life and regretful choices I have made concerning my career; it’s painful to think my son has this ideology. It’s like I am going to try to find work and or career based upon my own personal evaluation of my current abilities. I was so pained to know that my son was trying to shrink all of his ambition and creativity in life to a job. That is such a carnal ‘safe’ move. The truth is I know for a fact if he went to school, learned a trade and entered the grind of life with credit, debt, and benefits he would end up miserable in about 20 years. I am trying to help him avoid that at all cost. I mean just think if you were 20 years old again, with no debts and a clean slate what kind of life you would plan and shoot for. I can tell you I could paint you the most color picture of what I would like to accomplish, I definitely wouldn’t be painting with just two colors.  So many want to play life and career safe, and stay in all of the lines. Some even venture out and color with not just black and white, but with the 8 basic colors of the color wheel! Well lets don’t throw a party just yet, my printer is supposed to be able to print 16 and even 32 million color variations! Just think of the colors that we can’t even see.

What I saw my son doing was trying to make a career choice based upon his natural ability, and what he thought he was good at. He never even considered that it might be possible to actually plan and achieve a career path with his dream involved. I honestly think so many people are miserable in our country because things just didn’t pan out the way they had hoped. I also think that the financial crisis is a blessing from God to get people out of their dead-end jobs, and move towards creating meaning and purpose as opposed to just existing. So many are refocusing and redefining themselves in this hour. I have a suspicion that the next ten years of our lives we as people will do more for humanity than the previous fifty!  So what do we do if we have a good job with benefits, and like the work and provides for our families and lifestyle? How do I convert that into meaningful work? Do I have to go back to school or change careers?

The answer is NO! You know the carnal mind will always choose the path with the least amount of risk, and the most sense of certainty. But faith is a scary journey! But then there is plain old stupidity. I mean it’s confusing to me how people go from supporting their families and then all of a sudden quit everything to minister, and not even have any where to minister. So lets take a deep breath here and soak up some thoughts. The truth is we all have an aching deep in our  being to create something, and or do something that has meaning and or significance. The Destiny message has been revealed and we are definitely on board, but no one ever tells us what that looks like or how you get there! What if I told you that you can ‘have’ your cake and ‘eat’ it too!  Let me help you see something; if you can see these things you will become more ready to move forward.

1. All of us have the divine ability to create
2. You find your destiny and or purpose in your passion
3. Very few will make a living at what they are passionate about (not entirely)
4. Manifesting purpose and meaning to the world is a journey (it’s revealed in the art of being and doing, not a destination)
5. Squandering your gifts and talents will bring torment and distress to your life

Discovering the RealU

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”  I suppose there is not an American alive that hasn’t been asked this question, either in Kindergarten or First grade. I’m thinking today of what the answers might have been when we were young and full of hope, and faith. I remember in my class there were replies of  Teacher, astronaut, Football Player, Singer, Business Owner, and even the President.

Today I am wondering how many of us ‘became’ what we wanted to be when we grew up? Were we told that we can be anything we want, but without ever explaining or teaching how that might ever happen? Or maybe you are still like me, I still often talk to my wife about what I want to be when I grow up. You see I haven’t reached my full desired goal so that must mean that I am just not grown yet?

I think there is a mistake made continually in the fact that we equate what we do with who we are. But on the same note what you do can reveal a bit of who you really are at your core. If you do from a place of being. My classic example would be that of Adam. He was created as a living soul, which is better translated as a ‘living Being’. After the fall he became a “human doing’. In other words in the Garden he did and worked from a place of identity, but outside of the garden he worked from a place of doing, which always leads to a need for identity. Our carnal fallen culture is constantly ‘doing’ to discover their divine identity. But it is so misleading and a terrible trap. The carnal mind is our false sense of self. This form of identity is always equated with doing, and having. The more quantitative you do or have, then surely you are in full assurance of your identity.

So how did we get from ‘being’ to ‘doing? I think it was from the changing culture and times over the years. Over the years our forefathers after the Great Depression were just grateful to have jobs. Most of them farmed and supplied to industry. This ushered in the Industrial age where people and families grew up manufacturing plants, making cars, steel mills, and everything imaginable. This was a great foundation because it afforded the children of these ‘Job Minded’ people to give education to their children. In the old days is was very rare that someone would actually not retire in the job that they had done for thirty or forty years. Now a days, its more on the rare side.

After our forefathers children went to school, many of them became our parents, and ‘career minded’. You see the career minded group was playing into the false sense of being, more like doing. I am what I do, and or what I have, and even who I know. You see back in the old days people would pick ‘Jobs’ based upon talent and ability.  So they would try to apply for Jobs that they could do, and hopefully do it really well, and long enough to receive some benefits. The ‘Career’ group is more focused upon the pay and benefits. This group would go to school based upon probable need in the future, and benefits and pay scale. While longevity is still the goal, but not without stepping-stones of merit along the way.

When I was in High School we were required to take aptitude test that would somehow formulate the best job, or career choice. It was a grueling three-day test to help the counselors help guide you in the right career path. I think it was a military backed test so, pretty scary really. They were probably trying to sway the brainiacs, luckily I wasnt in the radar. So after you find what you might be good at, then you were to find the schooling and training to help you fulfill what you are good at. Then hopefully negotiate a pay. The biggest issue I feel cheated about in this journey some 35 years ago, was the counselor never asked me what are you passionate about? It was always work based, like what do you think you could do, or like to do. In other words lets test your skill set, and find the best paying job.

But there is a new generation rising up. They might work a job for pay just to get by or pay the bills, they realize that is a life-sustaining event. I read somewhere for the first time in history there will be more educated people working in fields of life that they weren’t trained in for the first time in History. I think it was a rather large number. Like 60% or higher will work in a field they weren’t trained in. Example of a Financial executive gets offers from IBM or some company, with good salary, benefits. But he will choose a non-profit sector start-up to help suffering people in other countries. Believe me when I tell you this in not an isolated event, this is the movement of our generation.

Our forefathers wanted a job, their children and children’s children wanted a career, but this group wants to make a difference and live their passion!  When you think about it, when you choose to live your passion you actually are making affirmations and answering the questions of ‘What to you want to BE when you grow up, not DO!’ The only thing is most people don’t get paid to live their passion, but its the only way to live an authentic life, and discover the real U. The next blog I will go into more detail about that I’m talking about. Until then Grace & Peace and share this please!

Shame: The Swamp Land of the Soul

Today I was reading and came across this idea of shame being like a swamp. I have been contemplating the whole Adam and Eve story for years, and very intensely the last year or so. I can not seem to shake the idea that we are still dealing with the effects of that fatal day. Misty Edwards is an amazing prophetic psalmist. In one of her songs the line is, “If Grace is an ocean then we’re all drowning.” I truly believe this statement, I also recall Stevie Nicks had a line in a song that said, “Drowning in the sea of love, where everyone would love to drown.”

Well if grace is like the ocean, and love like a sea; then shame has to be like a swamp of the soul!  Lets take a look at the swampland first shall we.

A swamp is a wetland with some flooding of large areas of land by shallow bodies of water. A swamp generally has a large number of hammocks, or dry-land protrusions, covered by aquatic vegetation, or vegetation that tolerates periodical inundation.  A common feature of swamps is water stagnation.

Swamps are characterized by very slow-moving waters. They are usually associated with adjacent rivers or lakes. In some cases, rivers become swamps for a distance. Swamps are features of areas with very low topographic relief.

Swamps were historically often drained to provide additional land for agriculture, and to reduce the threat of diseases borne by swamp insects and similar animals. Swamps were generally seen as useless and even dangerous. This practice of swamp draining is nowadays seen as a destruction of a very valuable ecological habitat type of which large tracts have already disappeared in many countries. However, the generally messy nature of swamps, with their diffuse boundaries and lack of enclosure, prevents humans from being able to collect and capitalize on their precious natural resources. Generally swamps are assessed as having low land value even while they are being protected from damage. [Wikipedia]

Shame is definitely like a stagnation to our souls, the life and flow of it. It is also uninhabitable for the most part by humans. So it’s definitely not a good place to live! We know there are many insects, and predators that lark in the hidden terrain. Most of I see metamorphically speaking, a very low-lying place. To our souls with shame is exactly all of these things. It is a terrible and dangerous environment for the soul.

Dr. Rene Brown says in her book, “The Gifts of Imperfections: Let go of who you thing you’re supposed to be and embrace who are”, That Shame is the ‘fear of disconnection and belonging due to my own feeling of unworthiness.’ In other words we are all hard-wired for connection and belonging, but somehow we get to a place to where our own feelings of unworthiness for whatever reason creates a disconnected mindset. We somehow feel that if you knew the internal struggles I have with in me, and my own knowledge of unworthiness you would reject me. This creates the shame.

She also rights in her book about Shame.

1. We all have it…..
2. We are all afraid to talk about it…..
3. The less we talk about it, the more power it has over our lives…..

Dr. Brown is a researcher / storyteller by profession. Over 10 years of shame, vulnerability, and fear research was done by her. I find the information very insightful into the human soul and mindset. I can easily see how this is such a huge issue in all of our lives. I believe with all of my heart that the Facebook and MySpace phenomenon is marker for what is going on in people’s lives and minds. Aside from the obvious narcissistic  tendencies, and the  voyeuristic curiosity of us all; The message that I hear from Facebook over all to me is the basic needs of humans at its finest.

1. The need to be Fully Loved
2. The need to be Fully Known (heard, seen, perceived)
3. The need to Belong

Of course Facebook has become a wonderful in communicating, promoting, and even was paramount in the Egyptian Revolution! This tool can also be a very dangerous tool in the hands of those that carry shame in the dark crevasses of their being. I poke fun sometimes when I say, Facebook can be a tool for creeping, snooping, and stalking. As a matter of fact the California legal community has said through its findings that 1 in every 5 divorces are because of Facebook’s ability to communicate. Facebook has become a very great tool for lawyers.

http://blogs.findlaw.com/law_and_life/2011/03/facebook-to-blame-for-1-in-5-divorces-lawyers-say.html

To navigate these swampy areas in our minds and souls, we are going to have to build deep trusting relationships with others who can listen without a judgmental spirit. If we can find these people the grip of shame will begin to erode and dry up as it were. And much like farmers we can drain the swampy waters of shame and despair, and once again plant productive fields of love and acceptance.

My Good friend Toby once told me the difference between shame and guilt.

Guilt: I DID something bad
Shame: I AM something bad

I will never forget this as long as I live. I realize guilt is a blessing from God to help nudge you to reconcile the offenses you may have occurred along the path of life so that you can live free and with an open heart. If we ignore the nudging then the inevitable consequence is shame. You will begin to identify a part of you AS the bad thing, instead of a slip up, it becomes your identity.

God help us to identify with the greatness within each and every one of us! As I watch the Earthquake and Tsunami in Japan unfold, I am so amazed at the spirit of the people. There hasn’t been one single report of looting and violence, and they wait for over 3 hours to get water and some don’t even get it. Let us not even discuss what would happen in America if anything remotely like that happened? Just think New Orleans, and Katrina, or the fires in the riot in Downtown L.A.

Consider and pray about finding a trusted friend that sticks closer than and brother to navigate and dry up your Swampland of the Soul. This is your year to get it done! One thing I am 100% sure of…..

It will NEVER get fixed by ignoring it!  That is what your carnal mind is trying to convince you of!

Paradoxical Ascent 2

The paradoxical ascent to God is not easily explained to the logical mind.  In simple terms the early Fathers of the faith would use these terms to describe the spiritual ‘feeling’. The Paradox here is the reality of what’s really going on in the hearts and minds of God’s people at certain times in their lives.

‘The more I know about God, it seems the less I really know’, and ‘The closer I get to Him and His Essence, the further away He seems.’ This could be some really great knowledge to know in some of our uncertain times. To actually learn by faith and through experience that in those times where I think God is a million miles away He might actually be the closest. I have found that Knowing God is more fitted to my experience than just my learning ability. St Symeon said that, ‘God can only be known by experiencing Him.’  My finite mind can not contain or formulate the nature and Person of the Godhead, but I truly enjoy learning and trying. But it seems like every time I go back to certain scriptures that I thought I knew one way, have now changed or added, in the meaning.  What I know have learned over the years is that He hasn’t changed but I have been moving ‘IN HIM’, and now I have a different perspective on the same scriptures I thought I knew by heart a few years back.

The Paradoxical Ascent can be described in this way. We are from Oklahoma originally, and every year we would take a trip to Colorado to the mountains. It’s a drive that for most part is very flat and boring. But there is a point that you get in New Mexico, I’m not sure where exactly, but you can see the whole Rocky Mountain range. And when you get to that point in the trip it changes to excitement because you can see everything.  The closer you get into Colorado and actually beginning to go through the mountains, there is a series of descending and ascending. The thing you will notice is you no longer see the whole range just a few mountains. But the closer you get to your destination, for us it was always Mount Crested Butte, you can’t see anything but what’s in front of you. So it is much like the Paradoxical Ascent, the closer I get the further away I seem, and the more I know, the less I know.

When we first started out in our journey to God there is a point that you think or perceive to see the whole picture. But as you journey on further the closer you get and the less you think you know! Enjoy the journey friends His ways are past finding out, but its fun trying to learn everything we can!

Paradoxical Ascent 1

When you think about the thought of ambiguity, it brings to mind an ancient thought of the ‘Paradoxical Ascent’.  The very term seems to be inline with ambiguity and in many ways it is, but in a much deeper mystery. The usage of the word paradox in our society is the polar opposite, it actually means disambiguation.

A paradox is a true statement or group of statements that leads to a contradiction or a situation which defies intuition. The term is also used for an apparent contradiction that actually expresses a non-dual truth (cf. kōan, Catuskoti). Typically, the statements in question do not really imply the contradiction, the puzzling result is not really a contradiction, or the premises themselves are not all really true or cannot all be true together. The word paradox is often used interchangeably with contradiction. It is also used to describe situations that are ironic.

Paradoxical Ascent is an early fathers term from their mystical perspective. In the early 1700’s some early fathers of the Jewish mystical faith called it coincidentia oppositorum. Every actual thing involves a coexistence of opposed elements.  Consequently to know, or, in other words, to comprehend an object is equivalent to being conscious of it as a concrete unity of opposed determinations. The coincidence of opposites that characterizes God, humanity and the world can be approximately understood by the simultaneous adoption of two points of view.

While this may seem like a contradiction of polar opposites, it is really that the opposites are all in HIM and complement each other. One makes the other what it is! In more simpler terms we can look at the Kingdom of God as inverted. I say inverted because it seems to be the opposite of what we think and the way we view life. In the Kingdom up is down meaning if you want to ascend you must first descend. If you want to receive you must first give. If you want and desire love you must first love. From our finite perspective it is hard to contain and satisfy a definition of our infinite God and His essence.

For example we say the sun rises in the east every morning and sets in the west every evening. And that is what is so difficult for us because it really does seem that way, our eyes actually see, and we perceive it to be so. But until you are enlightened with other truths on a bigger scale you would never know the truth. The reality being; the sun never MOVES, but rather the earth is turning and rotating around the sun!

This is the beauty of the mystery of the paradoxical ascent to God, that quite possibly what we see and are experiencing is the polar opposite of the truth?

In My Shoes

In my shoes, just to see what it’s like to be me
I’ll be you, let’s trade shoes
Just to see what it’d be like to feel your pain
You feel mine, go inside each other’s minds
Just to see what we find
Look at life through each other’s eyes
But don’t let em say you ain’t beautiful
They can all get lost, just stay true to you
Don’t let em say you ain’t beautiful

They can all get lost, just stay true to you

Eminem

The process of love goes in stages I believe. Its a total process. You have to go from ‘Having Love, to Showing Love, to Being love!’

Each one is a step, and its a practice that many have gone before us and have conquered. Having love is the first step of the process. It usually happens when you have been amazingly touched by Love in your being.  So the beginning process is that you respond by just having love and grace for others around you! This first phase if you will is more of a response.  No one can have love that hasn’t first experienced it. It is like the ripple effect or wave after the initial splash in a pool of water. So those that ‘Have’ love towards others have experienced love! You can not share and give what you do not have or experienced.  If you do it will not possess the true content of substance.  Your having love towards others will be nothing more than another concept, not substance.

Showing love is nothing more than a choice to align myself to the power of love that was shown unto me.  Love on this level is a choice, a daily, minute by minute decision to choose to remember the power of the love that abides in you!  Choices like these chip away at the core of your self life.  In every situation in your life, weigh it in light of  I Corinthians chapter 13.  If you read that chapter, there is pretty much not anything else to say.

Being love is a total surrender! When you choose you still are in control, because you might still choose not to show love.  When you surrender then you  have given up the right to choose. This is the ultimate level, then God Himself can BE Himself through you. You surrender your choice to love or not love, and eventually you become Love.

Practicing this process in real life goes like this. For the record in the old concept of God’s grace or man’s will, I say God’s grace abounds and definitely came before mans ability to choose. When I think about this journey and process of becoming Love, I think it goes in these ascetic practices.

1. Empathy: the learned ability to to feel FOR someone and their struggles.  This is a conscience choice to feel for the suffering of others. This is what I call Having love. The ability to share in a commonality with others in their sufferings. My belief is that this only comes about by those who have been touched by Love Himself in some fashion or form.  Love on this level is the beginning, but it is a supernatural characteristic. When I feel empathy towards another I am striking a chord in my own life of my own suffering in the past or present. But it rarely moves anyone to real action that requires me to get involved.  It’s like I want to eliminate the suffering of others but I don’t know how to do it without conflicting with my own personal life.

2. Sympathy: the inability to no longer sit by as a bystander and watch others suffer. In this stage we possess the mindset to feel WITH you.  So now our motivation is to get up close and personal and be one with you. In this level of the process you actually suffer when others suffer, and rejoice when others are honored.

3. Compassion: is the surrendered path of life that live to feel AS you…..and seek to eliminate the suffering and injustice of others.

So don’t be discouraged, but rather keep cooperating with the process…

In the words of Eminem,

In my shoes, just to see what it’s like to be me
I’ll be you, let’s trade shoes
Just to see what it’d be like to feel your pain
You feel mine, go inside each other’s minds
Just to see what we find
Look at life through each other’s eyes
But don’t let em say you ain’t beautiful
They can all get lost, just stay true to you
Don’t let em say you ain’t beautiful

They can all get lost, just stay true to you

Eminem

Hearts that BURN!

There is an amazing description of how spiritual events take place in our lives. In Luke 24 the resurrected Christ is walking veiled to the disciples, and they did not even know HIM!

They said to each other, “Didn’t our hearts burn within us as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?” Luke 24:32

I wonder how many times we have stood in the presence of such greatness, and not really recognize the significance until later on.

I can tell you my story of a man that I heard of.  When I came to hear him speak. It totally changed my life forever.  As I heard him speak it made so much sense to my heart, but my mind and understanding could not connect the dots. These sayings of his created so much peace in my heart and chaos in my mind, to the point as to which I had never been before.  You have to understand, I am not a jump on the bandwagon guy.  But if I have experience in and belief, I’m going to annoy you with my bandwagoness… I don’t jump easily to something that is NEW just because it’s new. But I saw the effects in my own heart and those around me who heard.  These words offended my self righteous religiosity, but liberated the inside of me to no end. Very hard experience to describe to you.  It’s like me trying to tell you what water taste like!  Good luck with that one.

Hearing him over and over made so much sense to me. I was crushed by the fact that I had spent almost 20 years in the religious realm,  totally devoted to the God Realm and serving 110%! And I couldn’t believe that I had never heard any of this kind of truth!  And to hear him made me feel so blessed, like I can’t believe I’m hearing this! I saw the miracles and peoples’ response.

I remember eating dinner with him many times.  Every time without fail the wait staff were totally drawn to him. It was almost embarrassing, I mean every where we went, people just talked and talked and wanted to badly to be around him. It was so common, it was totally expected every where we went. We would have to peel him away from people. I remember him having a  2000.00 pair of shoes from some place in Italy, have no idea the name, but still ‘Hanging with the little people’. His heart was with the people, but his mission was to challenge the church leaders of the day. For that is the only way to create change overall.

As our relationship grew I would meet him on trips just to ‘hang out’ and serve in any way I could to make life easier on him. I learned through him not only the protocol of the church, and the Christianize, but also the deeper purpose of the mission.  I have never seen a place that wasn’t drawn to him. But I have to tell you, in the gathering of the elect there was a special presence. When you gather the spiritual, and those with perception of the anointing there was a very special Draw on the Presence.

And every single time this man opened his mouth whether in the pulpit, or at the dinner table, or in private; I was never ceased to amazed. I can say with full assurance that he changed my life forever. My mind, my spirit, my theology is all the better and more solid than ever before.

I can remember the bliss that filled me thinking about the great movement I was a part of.  Not in any prideful way but a sincere love and devotion to the path that was laid out before us by God. I mean it seemed so great and perfectly fit! Overwhelmingly blessed beyond measure.  But we slowly became a threat to the status quo and system of the day.  The gazing eyes of the lack of respect was stinging. Not realizing that we were not the enemy!  Many times we would have to leave abruptly after meetings because people did not ‘agree’ with him as he laid out the spiritual plan.  Many of those ‘spiritual leaders’ would have him come and hold meetings only to use his gift and difference to add monetary blessings to their own work. You see I have seen him so many times be tolerated and not celebrated.  I know most people don’t know this but many of those with gifts of the spirit can easily get prostituted for that gift!  I know many don’t want to think of this, but said leaders have many times brought people into their congregations to do one of several things:

1. Bring a stirring and commitment beyond the normal realm of commitment. (revival spirit)
2. To confirm, affirm, the current leaderships path
3. To create buzz about the mission of the church, and fund projects

You can see where this man clearly would and could not be a good candidate for some of these.

He is the simple man and woman’s guide; and every religious leaders nightmare.  You see when he speaks I could see the simple people freed into the presence, and the religious blinded.  Even by the same teachings, it would sear the heart of the religious and harden, and free and feed the hungry and called at the very same time!

Often imitated,
many times hated
never celebrated….

Mar Enoch Ashe
Beloved

3 Gifts of Spiritual Guides

(From Bishop Kalistos Ware)

Three gifts in particular distinguish the spiritual guide.

1. The first is insight and discernment (diakrisis), the ability to perceive intuitively the secrets of another’s heart, to understand the hidden depths of which the other does not speak and is usually unaware. The spiritual father or mother penetrates beneath the conventional gestures and subterfuges whereby we conceal our true personality from others and from ourselves;

Yet, for a word to possess power, it is necessary that there should be not only one who speaks with the genuine authority of personal experience, but also one who listens with attention and eagerness.

The elder’s gift of insight is exercised primarily through the practice known as the “disclosure of thoughts” (logismoi). In early Eastern monasticism the young monk used to go daily to his spiritual father and lay before him all the thoughts which had come to him during the day. This disclosure of thoughts includes far more than a confession of sins, since the novice also speaks of those ideas and impulses which may seem innocent to him, but in which the spiritual father may discern secret dangers or significant signs. Confession is retrospective, dealing with sins that have already occurred; the disclosure of thoughts, on the other hand, is prophylactic, for it lays bare our logismoi before they have led to sin and so deprives them of their power to harm. The purpose of the disclosure is not juridical, to secure absolution from guilt, but its aim is self-knowledge, that we may see ourselves as we truly are.

The principle underlying the disclosure of thoughts is clearly summed up in the Sayings of the Desert Fathers: “If unclean thoughts trouble you, do not hide them but tell them at once to your spiritual father and condemn them. The more we conceal our thoughts, the more they multiply and gain strength… [But] once an evil thought is revealed, it is immediately dissipated… Whoever discloses his thoughts is quickly healed.”[3]

If we cannot or will not bring out into the open a logismos, a secret fantasy or fear or temptation, then it possesses power over us. But if with God’s help and with the assistance of our spiritual guide, we bring the thought out from the darkness into the light, its influence begins to wither away. Having exposed the logismos, we are then in a position to deal with it, and the process of healing can begin. The method proposed here by the early monks has interesting similarities with the techniques of modern psychoanalysis and psychotherapy. But the early monks had worked out this method fifteen centuries before Freud and Jung! There is, of course, an important difference: the early monks did not employ the notion of the unconscious in the way that modern psychology does, even though they recognized that with our conscious understanding we are usually aware of only a small part of ourselves.

2. The second gift of the spiritual father or mother is the ability to love others and to make others’ sufferings their own. Of one elder mentioned in the Sayings of the Desert Fathers, it is briefly and simply recorded: “He possessed love, and many came to him.”[6] He possessed love — this is indispensable in all spiritual motherhood and fatherhood. Insight into the secrets of people’s hearts, if devoid of loving compassion, would not be creative but destructive; if we cannot love others, we will have little power to heal them.

Loving others involves suffering with and for them; such is the literal sense of the word “compassion.” “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:2): the spiritual father or mother is the one par excellence who bears the burdens of others.

Yet the relation between the spiritual father and his children is not one-sided. Though he takes the burden of their guilt upon himself and answers for them before God, he cannot do this effectively unless they themselves are struggling wholeheartedly on their own behalf. Once a brother came to St Antony of Egypt and said: “Pray for me.” But the old man replied: “Neither will I take pity on you nor will God, unless you make some effort of your own.”[11]

3. A third gift of the spiritual father and mother is the power to transform the human environment, both the material and the non-material. The gift of healing, possessed by so many of the startsi, is one aspect of this power. More generally, the starets helps his disciples to perceive the world as God created it and as God desires it once more to be. The true elder is one who discerns the universal presence of the Creator throughout creation, and assists others to discern it likewise. He brings to pass,

The lack of spiritual fathering and mothering is eroding our culture…